Crazy Times

     When life gets hard, how do you handle it? I've been struggling lately because life really has been hard. I found myself working in a job that did not allow for a good work-life balance. I did not have time or energy to exercise.  I wasn't sleeping enough. And, honestly, I didn't really like what I did. I noticed that I began to see signs of a lack of body-love creeping back into my life.
      I took a long, hard look at my life and realized I was overcommitted. Not only was I full-time in graduate school but I was also working sometimes more than 25 hours per week. I just couldn't do it. I became a ball of stress. I realized that it was more important to me you finish school strong then continue at a job that wasn't serving me. And the major way for me to realize all this, was because I noticed my binge eating habits were creeping back into my life. It scares me that they still affect me even years after starting to embrace my body. I guess for me, whenever they creep back into my life it's a sure sign I am either doing too much or doing things that don't align with my true spirit. I think this situation was a little bit of both. So, I resigned from my job today. Luckily, I'm in a position where I'm able to do that. But it's been a major learning experience for me. I know it sounds extreme. But like I said, when I bench it really is a sign that I'm either doing something that's not right for me or I'm doing way too much. I mean, I went through a terrible terrible year and a nasty divorce and I never binged. I've had really really rough times in graduate school and I haven't binged.  But this job was not right for me and my reaction was binging...a major red flag.
    I realized what my boundaries are around work. For example, for me it's really important that I have time to exercise daily in the morning. This really helps me have a good mindset going into work. It's also important to me to have a somewhat calm work environment.
    Currently, many of my clothes have stopped fitting me. In the past this would've freaked me out. And to be honest sometimes it still does. But now I realize that the more energy and fear I place into not fitting into clothes will cause more guilt which will lead to binging which will lead to more guilt which will keep me from enjoying my body. So I've decided to buy clothes that fit me now. Ones I feel comfortable in and I feel beautiful in. I'm going to exercise daily because it makes me feel happy. I'm going to dress up daily because it makes me feel happy. And when I have thoughts that are self-defeating and body hating,  I'm going to let those thoughts go and replace them with healthy happy ones.

Cheers to a New Chapter!
Daniela